As I prepare for a new homeschool year I’ve been thinking a lot about my life as a homeschool mom. I have two adult children now and two still in our homeschool.
As most Moms do from time to time, I’ve found myself reflecting back over the years, thinking about the fun things I did with my kids when they were little, the sweet memories that I’ll cherish forever, and the way they’ve grown and matured and then B-A-M! I get hit with all the things I think I’ve done wrong or all the ways I think I’ve failed them.
What in the world is that all about? Most of the time I can redirect my thoughts but sometimes I allow them to grow in my mind.
I have a Christian world-view, meaning I try to base my thoughts and decisions on the Bible. Those negative thoughts didn’t just come out of nowhere and I’m convinced that my enemy, Satan, put them there to try to steal my joy, to bring me down, to discourage me and make me feel defeated. (1 Peter 5:8)
Last week while driving an hour and a half away to our Lyme doctor for our check-ups, I shared with my daughters who are 21 and 16 how I was feeling. It seems to always hit me around this time of year when I’m preparing for school.
I begin to feel discouraged and have thoughts about not wanting to homeschool anymore. I feel like I should stop blogging because I doubt whether or not I’m making a difference and worse of all, I begin to believe that what I’ve been doing all these years, pouring my life into my children’s, hasn’t mattered to anyone other than me.
This past summer I found an amazing group of homeschool moms on Periscope who are doing all kinds of wonderful things in their homeschool with their children. Periscope is a social media platform where people can share live video and talk about or share anything they’d like.
I have come to really love this group of moms. They are genuine, super encouraging, and kind! As I listened to their scopes and got to know them do you know what happened? I began to look at all of their school rooms and thought, “maybe I should I have a school room”. I listened to their exciting plans and the big projects they planned and I thought, “Wow, I haven’t planned anything like that yet!” I looked at their amazing planners, bookshelves, and cubbies. I got excited about new ideas, new books and curriculum I’ve never heard of but I also began to feel discouraged.
I began to feel like I’ve failed my children all these years. We started out with a great school room but ended up at the kitchen table, the couch or on the floor sprawled out. I began my homeschool career doing all kinds of great projects and going on fun field trips but then we became too sick with Lyme disease to leave the house. We used to buy all kinds of new curriculum every year but then I found my bookshelves were overflowing with too much.
Do you see what happened here? I began comparing my life and my homeschool with moms who had completely different lives and different homeschools. Not only that, most of them have younger children and are at a different place than I am.
Whenever we compare we run into trouble. We begin to feel like what we have isn’t good enough and we might even get discouraged and want to quit. Comparing never leads to anything good.
[bctt tweet=”Comparison is the Thief of Contentment and Joy! #contentment #homeschool #grace #aboundinginhope” username=”aboundinginhope”]
When you’re homeschooling with a chronic illness you can’t compare your life or homeschool with another homeschooling family, not even another family who might also have a chronic illness. Quite frankly, you should compare yourself at all even if you don’t have a chronic illness.
In order to be busy doing what we’re called to do we need to set our eyes firmly on our Savior and focus on what our own lives are all about and what God has for us.
On the drive to our doctor, my girls advised me not to think about how I’m feeling right now. They’ve learned that feelings are deceptive and they lie to us. They gave me my own advice and told me that I’m listening to the enemy and that I’ll feel completely different when I’m not so stressed. Then they told me that they thought I’m a great mom and that they’re glad I homeschooled them. That right there makes it all worth it.
If God lavishes His grace over us shouldn’t we receive it and extend that same grace to ourselves?
Do you want to be a great mom even though you have a chronic illness? It’s pretty simple, it doesn’t require a perfect homeschool room, it doesn’t require pushing yourself to do everything you think your children want to do, or what you think others expect of you, or even buying all of the newest curricula.
To be a great homeschool mom all you need is God’s grace.
Love God and set an example of walking with Him and then love your children, spend time with them, speak words of life into them, have fun learning with them and do the best you can.
Your children will remember your love and encouragement more than anything else.
So, go and be a grace-filled homeschool mom today.
I completely agree though it’s hard advice. Our homeschool over the years to me was a diaster. My oldest is in 9th grade and is behind compared to others due to her health, my own, and the children around her. When we first started homeschooling, I would be sitting beside her brother at the time suctioning mucus from his airways trying to keep him alive while everyone around me had their children in school telling me I was crazy to homeschool. And when I came online to blogs for ideas, I felt even worse. Their lives appeared perfect. Satan really used that to attack me hard. Then things got even harder. I got sicker, my son got sicker, my daughter was falling apart and 2 more children were born and the one passed away.
I still struggle with comparison but I’m not going for kids who are worldly smart but trying hard to have them heavenly smart since 2 of their siblings are already waiting there for them. Giving myself Grace is the hardest thing for me to do. My husband says I’m too hard on myself.
God Bless
Dear Erica, you’re in good company, moms are usually very hard on themselves. I found that homeschool moms are even more hard on themselves because we feel we’re responsible not only for our children’s upbringing but also their education, their behavior, and their choices. As a mom with three adult children who graduated from my homeschool, I want to encourage you to put all of that in God’s hands every single day and leave it there. It’s too much for you or anyone else to carry. I love Philippians 1:6, “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you (and your children) will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” I’m so sorry for your losses. May God bless you and help you to give yourself the grace that He has already given you!