Not too long ago my husband and I went on a date for the first time in a really long time. When you’ve been married for as long as we have you can sometimes get really comfortable in your relationship and forget that you still need to take the time to nurture and care for each other.
As moms, we are busy with our kids; we also keep our home clean, grocery shop, meal plan, meal prep and everything in between.
If you’re a homeschool mom like I am you’re also busy educating your children five days a week, sometimes more. Some of you are even working a home-based business and some work outside the home and still homeschool. You are Super-Mom for sure!
Keeping such a busy life is exhausting and moms in general, have a hard time taking a break. It’s really hard to balance all those different areas and our marriage typically gets put on the backburner.
[bctt tweet=”A marriage made in heaven must start with our focus being on heaven, it will never just happen! #Marriage #AboundinginHope” username=”aboundinginhope”]
If you’ve been married longer than 24 hours, you know marriage takes a lot of attention, nurturing and care in order to thrive.
My husband and I recently celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary. That beautiful January day, we chose to place Christ at the very center of our marriage. That didn’t mean we always did; many times one or both of us found ourselves taking God’s rightful place in our relationship.
There are plenty of things in life that can get in the way of a good marriage; here are just a few of the things I thought of that can cause our marriage to become less than it should be. Certainly, this is not an exhaustive list but it’s a good place to start and evaluate.
Busyness
Everyone is busy all the time. If you were to ask almost anyone if they have time to get coffee or serve at church, I would guess their first response is probably, “I’m busy, let me check my calendar!” Most of us have more than just a few things going on in our lives and in our families. Homeschooling, sports, home businesses, obligations outside the home, and church commitments are just a few of the things that keep us preoccupied and too busy for investing in our marriages.
Children
Let’s admit it, children are time-consuming. Little children definitely require a great deal of our time and attention but quite honestly so do our older children and teens. Most children are in sports or other activities that require one or both parents to be out of the home for practices, games, band, travel leagues etc. Homeschooling our children requires the time of a full job solely focused on our children. If we’re not careful, our homes can become child-centered and our marriages can suffer the consequences.
Differing Opinions
I’m sure most of us would admit that we think very differently than our spouse. Even if we have a lot in common and we agree on many things there is usually at least one hot issue where we are worlds apart. Some couples may disagree on everything; the best way to parent, how the money is spent or saved, which church to go to, and even the best curriculum to use for homeschooling. These differences can be great assets if we learn to approach our spouse with respect and learn to communicate in a way that will produce a mutual agreement. However, that may mean that you agree to disagree.
Satan
As a Christian, I believe that the enemy of our soul is also an enemy to our marriage. Scripture says he is seeking out who he can destroy. We need to be aware that he does want to destroy our marriage and he wants to divide our family. Sadly, he is being successful even among believers.
Cultural Expectations
The culture portrays marriage in a particularly negative way. Popular television shows tend to make marriages look bad. Many times they make the husband look stupid, or the wife a nag; they portray infidelity as something to be pursued. Lying and cheating are common practices in tv marriages and while these things should not be a part of our marriage they many times are.
Money
Money is definitely a huge stress on a marriage. Whether you have too little or more than enough; how each spouse thinks the money should be allocated and spent can cause division. If you have chronic Lyme disease or any chronic condition where frequent doctors visits or medication is required, money again becomes a serious stress.
The Internet
For many stay-at-home moms, the internet has been our lifeline for communication, education, and stimulation. We have developed communities, online friendships, and support groups. Many of us blog in an effort to share our ideas or to run a business. I’m sure we would all agree how quickly the hours can slip by as we spend time online.
Chronic Illness
Chronic illness is very difficult in a marriage. The spouse who is well may grow resentful, doubt that their partner is really sick, or may grow angry because they have to pick up the slack. It’s difficult to share life together when one spouse requires many hours of sleep or cannot be up out of bed to share family time.
While each of these areas can pull a marriage apart and even destroy it, there are ways to be proactive against them or to adapt to challenges that can’t be changed such as a chronic illness.
Next time, let’s discuss some ways we can invest in our marriage and pour into them in a way that will help them grow strong and unified.
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